Changed
by Suffocated Entity
Summary: "You are a mystery, Suzaku Kururugi, and you're the reason why I just may start to smile again." /Childhood/Kururugi Shrine drabble


**This little drabble is a million years old! Back in the day, when I lived and breathed Code Geass, I wrote a series of childhood drabbles of Suzaku and Lelouch as children, and this by far, was my favorite one. I'm just going to post this here, and I hope you like it! **

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Changed

You grab my wrist and you pull me hard. I am dragged behind you as if I am nothing but a limp, lifeless doll. We trudge together through the unforgivable foliage that smells of day old rain. It nicks and bites my flesh at every opportunity it gets. I am being taken God-knows-where, and all I can notice or be concerned with is the warmth of your palm on my skin. Your recklessness is one of the biggest plagues inflicted upon my sanity, and yet, I can't get annoyed with your actions.

I don't know why, but my passiveness in this situation is anything but comforting.

I want to yell and tear my arm away, but I can't. You have brainwashed me, that I know. The method of reversing the process is the real mystery here.

You call my name. Aggravation colors your words. You want me to quicken my pace, but you and I both know that that isn't possible. Physical strength has never been my forte, and the constant reminder of your superiority in the field of brawn brings me to grind my teeth and try to hold myself back in an attempt to not throttle you. It always calms me down, and I hate it. I always fall to you, and your victorious smirk serves only as the catalyst to my daily aggravation.

I should hate you, despise you, loathe you. But I don't.

I try. I try to hate you and please you. It doesn't make sense to me anymore, and I am just realizing that maybe, it doesn't have to.

I try to speed up my strides, and they fall short of your expectations. Disappointment flashes in your eyes, and I feel my cheeks burn crimson. Clumpy mud splatters on my exposed ankles and knees as we run. It cakes my shoes. It cakes yours. I am being forced along on an adventure with no clear destination, and I want to go home. I want to curl up in my bed and enjoy my solitude. No sister. No friend. Nothing but my thoughts and a snug blanket to keep myself content. I smile at my fantasy. My eyes close in a brief second of joyous, wishful thinking until you pull my wrist again. My arm feels as if it has been ripped out of its socket.

Still, I do my best to keep up.

It feels like hours since we started. How long has it been since this idiocy has begun? You have been pulling me for an awfully long time. I am tired beyond belief. Are you exhausted? You must be... but then again, you're an exercise freak. My breath hurts my dry throat as I inhale and exhale the muggy air of these woods. My raven fringe clings to my forehead as if it has been glued to it. I am sweating that much. My nose runs from exertion. I can't feel my legs.

I really can't go on. Can we take a break?

My lips are in the act of parting to ask for rest when you abruptly stop before me. I bump into you and I fall back. Earthy sludge covers me from head to toe, and I can feel my face twist in pure animosity. I kick my leg out in a fury of limbs and you fall. A smile of satisfaction blooms on my chapped lips when you land bottom first in a deep, muddy deposit of decaying leaves and wet dirt.

Stupid. Moron. Clumsy. You screech these words to me as your green eyes flash dangerously in conspicuous anger. You kick your legs in this momentary tantrum and it splatters even more mud onto my body. I do not even care this time. Watching you suffer is the most satisfying thing ever.

I get to my weak knees and pick my body off the ground. I stand. It is a miracle that I can with my cursed, wobbly form. My cheeks are painted red, and I can only stare at you with a poorly disguised smirk. You are so reckless; so rough around the edges. I never know what you will do, and it excites me and annoys me. You're fascinating. You are like a game; my own personal toy. All the ones I had before in my previous life were always the same. Once I figured out how to use them, I played with them until I grew tired. They were as they always were. They did not change. Their predictable actions bordered on the realm of stupidity. They were not spontaneous.

You, however, are.

Here, I stand before you, in this endless field of tall, healthy, vibrant sunflowers that you have dragged me to. Their petals whisper in this summer wind. You have taken me here; a place I don't belong. Its innocence is tangible on this day's warm breath, and their sweetness incases our filthy selves with care. I'm nothing like these flowers, nor will I ever be. Why are we here? Was it really that important to take me here to see them? I don't understand it. And, still, I don't, and never will understand you.

You are a mystery, Suzaku Kururugi. Your reckless abandon, tanned cheeks, hot temper, childish whims, and ridiculous strength are a mystery. You make me think, hyperventilate, sneer, scream, and fight. You've changed me this past summer; you've made me into somebody I never thought I'd become.

Your mysterious, stupid ways have changed everything, Suzaku, and you're the reason why I just may start to smile again.


End file.
